Bullying can start as early as preschool. Kids begin establishing a social hierarchy around this time, and the more assertive, bully-type kids may call other children names, push them on the playground, and exclude them from activities. If you suspect that your child is being bullied at preschool, it's important to take action and start teaching them strategies for dealing with bullies. This way, they can not only end this behavior now, but also be prepared to deal with bullies effectively as they grow older.
Strategy One: Stand up to the bully.
Bullies tend to prey on the weak. If your child looks upset and sulks away after someone calls them a name or makes fun of them, the bully may just be harder on them. Teach your child to stand up, verbally, to the bully. Give them a few key phrases to say when someone picks on them. These phrases can include:
- Stop it! I don't appreciate you calling me names.
- Back off! You are not being nice.
- Leave me alone!
Have your child practice saying these words with confidence. Teach them to turn and walk away with their shoulders squared and their head held high after saying them. Bullies will soon stop messing with a kid who appears confident.
Strategy Two: Ignore the bully.
Ignoring only works for certain bullies. Make sure your child knows that. Recommend that they try ignoring their bully, but move on to another strategy if the bully does not leave them alone after this. Ignoring a bully is harder than it sounds. Your child may be tempted to defend himself or herself when mean words are said. Teach them to just keep doing what they were doing and pretend the bully's not even there. Some bullies will take this as a hit to their ego (bullies do what they do for attention) and back off after being ignored a few times.
Strategy Three: Tell the teacher.
There's a right way and a wrong way to "tell on" a bully. Yelling "Mrs. Smith, Billy called me a sissy!" across the room is the wrong way. This may make the bully see your child as weak, as they're relying on an authority to solve their problems. The right way to "tell on" a bully is to wait until the teacher is alone with no other students around. Approach them quietly, and briefly explain what happened. Have your child pretend you're the teacher and practice telling you what happened so he or she feels more comfortable with this.
Bullies don't usually stop overnight, but if your preschooler learns to implement these strategies, it should only be a matter of time until the bullies back off. You can also work with the preschool to make sure that the bullying policy is clear and enforced.
